


Slow hands and rapid hearts

by pittythepineapple



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Bisexual Clarke Griffin, Clarke is a massage therapist, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Smut, F/F, Happy Ending, How Do I Tag, Humor, I Will Go Down With This Ship, In more ways than one, Lesbian Lexa, Lexa (The 100) Needs a Hug, Lexa is her client, Multi, POV Clarke Griffin, Post Costia, Slow Burn Clarke Griffin/Lexa, wink wink
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-24
Updated: 2019-06-03
Packaged: 2019-11-04 20:16:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17904902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pittythepineapple/pseuds/pittythepineapple
Summary: “Clarke?” Lexa asked softly. Clarke turned in the doorway. “Do you make house calls?”Never.“Yes,” Clarke replied firmly, trying her best to not make it sound like a question. She turned toward the girl more fully. “But it costs more,” she added.“Wonderful,” Lexa smiled fully this time, looking down to tie her shoes. “Money isn’t a problem.”ORThe one where Clarke is a massage therapist and Lexa is her client. Slow burn romance and mutual pining ensue.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys! I wrote this fic last summer and sat on it for a while because I wasn't sure about the direction I wanted to take. Anyway, the rating says explicit but this will be a slow burn, so buckle up kids. I'll try to update frequently, but I promise it'll be worth the wait!

“Where the hell is my 4 o’clock? I would like to actually leave on time today,” Clarke huffed in frustration to Sarah, the receptionist, as she paced the front lobby.

“It’s so inconsiderate. I mean how hard is it to be at appointments on time?”

The clock read 4:25 p.m. It had been a slow Monday due to the weather, and all she wanted was to go home and curl up on the couch.

“Maybe they got stuck in traffic? It is raining pretty hard out there,” Sarah said, attempting to quell the woman's irritation.

“Maybe. But still! At the very least they could call and say they’re going to be late. I mean, it’s not that hard to pick up a phone,” Clarke sighed in exasperation.

At that very moment a woman walked into the lobby, a cold gust of wind billowing close behind her as she struggled to shut the door.

“Sorry I’m late,” the woman said almost sheepishly.

Clarke whirled around, intending to give the woman a piece of her mind when suddenly, the words caught in her throat. The woman was stunning, albeit, a little dirty.

She was tall and slender, maybe a few years older than Clarke, with olive toned skin and dark, wild curly hair. She wore a forest green overcoat with a plain navy blue sweater beneath, with skinny jeans and laced up brown leather boots caked in mud. Something black was smudged on her right cheek, perhaps motor grease. She shook off the water on her umbrella as she stepped farther into the lobby.

“I promise I’m not usually late like this,” she said as she placed her umbrella in the bin by the door and hung her coat on the coat rack.

“My sister’s motorcycle broke down on the side of the road on my way here, and I couldn’t leave her in this weather,” she said as she gestured outside the glass doors of the lobby. Rain was coming down in sheets.

Clarke’s expression softened. Any frustration she previously had towards the woman vanished.

_Damn, that’s actually a decent excuse._

“That must explain the grease smudge then,” Clarke said after a beat as she reached her hand towards the woman’s face before catching herself. “May I?” she hesitated.

The woman looked at Clarke’s outstretched hand a moment before nodding. Clarke took half a step forward as she wiped the small stain from the woman’s face. Their eyes locked for a moment as Clarke couldn’t help but stare.

They were a light green with tiny flecks of orange around her pupil, like a star bursting as it fizzled out of existence. As quickly as their eyes settled on one another, they darted away just as swiftly.

She took half a step back before outstretching her hand to the woman.

“Hi I’m Clarke, I’ll be your massage therapist today,” she said with a warm smile.

The woman’s lips curled with a hint of a smile as she shook Clarke’s hand. “I’m Lexa,” she said softly.

“If you’ll follow me back here Lexa, I’ll show you to your room.”

The smell of essential oils and expensive lotions wafted past them as they made their way down the dark hallway.

Clarke led them into a dimly lit room with a table in the center and a chair in the corner. A small stereo in the corner played soothing music one would hear at a spa.

“Lexa, if you’d like to undress while I go grab your patient sheet, I’ll give you a few minutes of privacy to get comfortable and then we’ll get started.”

“Thank you,” she replied as Clarke left the room.

Lexa took off her sweater and jeans, folding them neatly on the chair. She then pried her mud-caked boots off and set them under the chair as she stripped down to a sports bra and spandex shorts. She climbed onto the table and under the sheet, placing her head in the face hole at the end of the table, taking a deep breath as she tried to relax.

A few moments later she heard a soft knock at the door.

“Hi Lexa, are you comfortable? Can I come in?”

“Yes,” she replied as Clarke stepped into the room.

Lexa listened to her quiet footsteps as she walked around the side of the table.

“Have you ever had a massage before?” Clarke asked quietly.

“Oh yes. Many times.”

“It says here most of the pain you experience is in your upper back and shoulders. Is that correct?”

“Yes,” she replied, shifting slightly on the table. “I don’t need a full body massage, just the shoulders.”

“You sure? You’re paying for a full body.”

“Yes, I’m sure,” Lexa said softly, but firm.

Clarke set the clipboard down and walked over to the essential oils station and put a generous dab of oil on her palms. As she turned back to the table where Lexa lay, she paused as she noticed she still had her sports bra on.

“Would you prefer to keep your sports bra on? If so that’s fine, but I might get some oil on it.”

“Yeah… I think I’d feel more comfortable with it on.”

“That’s perfectly fine! Just checking,” Clarke said reassuringly, noting the hesitance in her voice.

 _Odd._ _Most people have no problem shedding clothes during a massage._ _Especially if she’s had one before. Oh well._

Clarke rubbed her palms together quickly to heat her hands before gently placing them on Lexa’s shoulders as she began to work her thumbs in circles near the base of her neck. After a few moments, she could tell the girl was still tense. She paused.

“Relax,” she whispered as she lightly scratched her nails down Lexa’s back. Lexa visibly shivered, the action giving her goosebumps.

“You’re really tense,” Clarke murmured, hoping the sound of her voice would put her at ease.

“I get that a lot.”

Clarke began working on Lexa’s shoulders again, firmly working out the knots in the woman’s back.

“You’ve got a lot of knots,” Clarke said, trying to coax the girl into conversation so she would relax a little.

“I get that a lot too,” Lexa said, almost dismissively.

_Okay, so she’s not the chatty type. That’s fine…_

After a few minutes of silence, Lexa spoke.

“You can go harder. You won’t hurt me.”

Clarke dug a little harder into her shoulders, working out the massive knots along her shoulder blades while trying not to get too much oil on her sports bra.

“This good?”

“Actually, you can go a bit harder,” Lexa said. Clarke hesitated.

“You sure? I’m digging pretty hard.”

“You won’t break me,” the woman replied matter-of-factly.

 _Kinky._ Clarke smiled to herself before shaking her head. _Cut it out Clarke, be professional._

She pushed harder.

“This better?”

Lexa groaned a little under the new pressure.

“Yeah,” she grunted. “Perfect.”

 _Someone’s got a high pain tolerance._ _Must explain the tattoo,_ she thought as she observed a tiny bit of a spinal tattoo creeping out above and below her sports bra.

She saw enough to know it was there, but not enough to tell what it was or what it could represent. She didn’t ask.

_I wonder where that leads._

After a few minutes, Lexa’s body relaxed, eventually going limp on the table. She had fallen asleep.

                                                        ***

Forty-five minutes later, Clarke gently roused the girl.

“Lexa?” she asked, setting her hand gently on her shoulder. Lexa stirred and lifted her head. Her eyes were sleepy and confused.

“Did I fall asleep?” she asked in a gravelly voice.

“You did,” Clarke smiled, trying not to laugh at how adorable the sleepy girl was.

“Huh.” Lexa sat up on the table, rubbing her eyes and smoothing her hair. “I’ve never fallen asleep during a massage before.”

Clarke stood by the table, organizing the room before she left for the day.

“Never?” she asked, wiping down her arms and hands from the oil.

“No. Most people don’t dig as hard as I like. Or they’ll do it for a few minutes before reverting back, but you’re the only one who stayed consistent.”

Clarke turned to face the woman.

“Glad I could help,” she smiled. Lexa looked intently at Clarke, studying her face for a moment before glancing at the clock. It was 5:30 p.m.

Clarke turned to leave when Lexa spoke.

“Do you have any more clients the rest of the day?” Lexa stood from the table and grabbed her pants from the chair.

“Oh, do you want me to give you some priv-“ Clarke began. “No you’re fine,” Lexa cut her off, facing Clarke as she stuck one leg through her pants.

Clarke tried not to stare. Not only was her face stunning, but so was her body. Her abdominal muscles rippled as she bent down to pull her foot through the leg hole.

_Holy shit she’s gorgeous._

Clarke snapped back to attention.

“I-no, no I don’t have any more clients today. 4 o’clock appointments are usually the last appointments of the day for me,” she replied, grateful for the dim lighting while trying not to sound too flustered.

“Oh,” Lexa said simply as she pulled her shirt over her head and sat to put her boots on. “I apologize for keeping you late.”

“You’re perfectly fine,” Clarke said reassuringly. “I’m glad you enjoyed the session.”

Lexa looked up at Clark and gave a crooked half smile. She turned to leave the room before Lexa stopped her.

“Clarke?” Lexa asked softly. She turned in the doorway.

“Do you make house calls?”

_Never._

“Yes,” Clarke replied firmly, trying her best to not make it sound like a question. She turned toward the girl more fully. “But it costs more."

“Wonderful,” Lexa smiled fully this time, looking down to tie her shoes. “Money isn’t a problem.”

_Is that so? She’s so young though. Trust fund maybe?_

“Great! Did you want to schedule that today, or…?”

“Yes, do I schedule it at the front desk when I check out or-“ Lexa started before Clarke cut her off. “No, you can just tell me now or give me a call when you're ready,” she said as she pulled a business card out of her pocket.

She didn’t want her boss finding out she was giving private massages on her own time.

“I’ll have to come after 5 if it’s a house call, but that shouldn’t be a problem,” she said as she pulled out a pen.

Lexa finished tying her boot and walked slowly up to Clarke as she scribbled a number on the back of the card.

“This is my business card, but here is my cell number. You can call or text me your address when you’re ready to book another session,” she said as she handed the card to Lexa.

“How about this Wednesday?”

_Wow, that’s soon._

“Yeah, that works.”

“Perfect,” Lexa smiled. “It was nice to meet you, Clarke,” she said as she extended her hand.

“Nice to meet you, Lexa,” Clarke replied as she shook her hand.

They locked eyes for a moment.

“So, do I pay up front, or…?” Lexa asked, breaking the handshake first.

“Oh, yeah Sarah will take care of you up front.”

“Great, see you Wednesday Clarke,” Lexa said as she scooted past Clarke through the doorframe

“Yes, Wednesday,” Clarke replied, a little late on the draw. “See you then.”

She watched a small smirk cross Lexa’s lips before she turned and walk down the hall to the front desk. Clarke started a moment before she turned around to finish cleaning.

 _Holy shit, what are the chances?_ Clarke thought as she stripped the table of the sheets. _Hot and willing to pay more for a house call? Wednesday will be interesting._

Clarke finished cleaning the room and began gathering her things before heading out. Sarah was still at the front desk scrolling on her phone by the time she reached the lobby.

“Still here?” Clarke asked Sarah.

“Yep, I’m fixing to head out too,” Sarah replied, not bothering to glance away from her phone. Clarke went to grab her coat off the rack before Sarah caught her attention.

“Have a good session? That girl sure tipped you nicely.”

“Oh yeah?” Clarke asked, putting her coat on.

“Yeah, and it’s in cash,” she replied, handing Clarke a crisp $100 dollar bill.

“Shit,” she muttered, staring at the bill. “That’s the biggest tip I’ve ever received from a customer.”

“Well, you must’ve done something right. See you tomorrow Clarke,” Sarah said as she stood up to stretch.

“See you tomorrow Sarah!” Clarke said as she walked out the door and into the storm.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anya gives Lexa shit, Clarke becomes smitten, everyone is a gay mess.
> 
> OR
> 
> The one where Clarke makes a house call to Lexa's house for a personal massage appointment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey ya'll, sorry for the delay, it's been an exhausting week. I'm still working out the direction for the rest of the story, but I hope this ties you over till then. Your comments are great motivation though, so let me know what you think!

It was 6:15 p.m. by the time Clarke arrived back to her apartment. Rain was still coming down in sheets as the sky swirled angry black clouds above.

_Portland is beautiful. But I could do with a few days of sunshine now and then._

Clarke braced herself for the cold rain as she opened the door and sprinted towards her apartment door. Finally inside, Clarke shut the door in a sigh of relief.

“You’re home late,” a voice said behind her.

“Hey Ray,” Clarke replied as she peeled her boots off and placed her raincoat on the hook. “I had a late appointment,” she said as she walked farther into the living room.

Raven was at the stove, making dinner when Clarke sat down at their tiny dining room table.

“That sucks,” Raven said, turning to Clarke with a spatula in hand. “I know how much you hate late customers.”

“Actually, this one wasn’t bad,” Clarke recalled the mental snapshot she took of Lexa putting her clothes back on. “And she tipped well,” Clarke said as she slapped the $100 bill on the table.

“No shit?” Raven said stepping closer to get a better look. “Clarke, that’s nearly a 100 percent tip. Was it that old rich white lady?” she grinned as she stepped back towards the stove.

Clarke chuckled. “No, actually she was probably our age. Maybe a few years older. I don’t know how she could afford it.”

Clarke’s thoughts began to wander as she recalled the entire encounter with Lexa.

 _Holy shit she’s gorgeous,_ Clarke remembered thinking earlier.

“Clarke,” Raven repeated a little louder for the third time. “Hey, buddy. Where’d you wander off to?” Raven asked as she grabbed two plates from the cabinet.

“Sorry Ray,” Clarke mumbled, blinking hard to clear her mind. “Long day.”

“Don’t try to pass off that daydream like you weren’t thinking fondly of someone, I saw you grinning. Who is she?” Raven said teasingly, handing Clarke a plate.

“No one- what are you talking about?”

“Don’t pull that bullshit on me, Clarke, I’m your best friend. Now tell me who it is you’re over there smirking about,” Raven said as she sat down.

“Thanks for cooking,” Clarke said as she looked down at her plate. Raven’s famous slow-cooked brisket, her favorite.

“Don’t change the subject,” Raven replied sternly, grabbing a slice of bread. “Who are you smitten for?”

“I’m not smitten for anyone...” Clarke trailed off as she stood up to grab napkins.

“But?”

“But… That client was kinda cute,” Clarke said sheepishly, slowly looking up to see Raven’s expression.

“Clarke!” Raven said in mock surprise, touching her hand to her chest. “I never took you for a gold digger.”

“Oh hush Raven,” Clarke said as she rolled her eyes while Raven laughed. “I’m not a gold digger. But she was pretty cute. A little reserved, but still.”

“Can massage therapists even date their clients? Isn’t that unethical or something?”

“It would be if I came on to her, but that’s not going to happen so don’t worry about it,” Clarke said curtly.

“So did your new sugar mamma book a second appointment?” Raven asked with a devilish smirk, grabbing a second slice of bread.

“Actually she did. For Wednesday,” Clarke said through narrowed eyes, ignoring the jab.

“Wednesday? That’s pretty soon. You must’ve made an impression,” Raven said with a wink.

“It’s a house call…” Clarke said quietly, hoping Raven wouldn’t run with it.

“A house call? You guys don’t normally do house calls, right?” Raven said quizzically. “In fact, I don’t think you’ve ever mentioned making a house call before. Does Jason know?”

“No, my boss doesn’t know,” Clarke continued between mouthfuls. “And I’m not telling him. It’ll be after 5, on my own time.”

“A house call,” Raven repeated with a huge grin. “Clarke Griffin, I never took you for _that_ kind of masseuse. Are you going to give her a happy ending too?” she teased.

“Eat shit Reyes,” said Clarke as she playfully swatted her on the arm as they laughed and continued eating dinner.

                                                        ***

Tuesday went by a little quicker than Monday. Gray clouds still lingered in the sky, but patches of sunshine would creep out behind the clouds on occasion.

Wednesday the rain came back, albeit, not as hard as Monday. Clarke checked her phone every chance she got throughout the day, but still no text or call from Lexa. Around 3:30 p.m. she started getting anxious.

Clarke finished her 4 o’clock appointment on time and checked her phone again. At 4:33 p.m. she had received a text from Lexa.

_Hi Clarke, this is Lexa Woods from Monday’s 4 o’clock appointment. I hope you’re still able to make the house call appointment today. Here is my address and feel free to call or text me when you’re on your way._

_3516 Mulberry St._

Clarke sighed with relief. She wasn’t entirely sure why she was so excited to see Lexa again, but it had been what she’d been looking forward to all day.

Perhaps it was the curiosity of what her house looked like or the reason why she had asked Clarke to do a house call in the first place. Either way, Clarke had never had this kind of excitement towards seeing a client before.

She finished cleaning her station and gathered her things as quickly as possible. Fortunately, she’d had the foresight to remember to pack her personal massage table that morning, so she didn’t need to run home before heading to Lexa’s.

As soon as she got in the car she plugged in the address to her GPS. 18 minutes away. Perfect. Clarke sent Lexa a text before she pulled out of the lot.

_Hi Lexa. Yes, I’m still able to make our appointment. ETA says 18 minutes, so I’ll see you soon!_

With that, Clarke pulled out of the lot and headed towards Lexa’s.

 _I wonder what her apartment looks like,_ Clarke daydreamed as she stared at the road ahead. _Does she have a roommate? More importantly, I wonder why she wanted me to make a house call instead of just booking a regular appointment._

The farther Clarke drove across town, the closer she got to the suburbs.

 _Maybe she lives in a house instead of an apartment? I guess that would explain the big tip. But who at that age could afford a house around here? She must have a trust fund_.

Five minutes later, Clarke arrived in a swanky little neighborhood with brand new modern style houses. In this part of town, young business professionals flocked to the area a few years back as the city continued to grow with Portland transplants from all over the country. Clarke looked again at the address and back at the house to make sure it was the right place.

Each house on the block looked similar with neutral lighter colors, but Lexa’s was the only dark one. It was a darker gray house with light brown accents, a tin roof and a small front porch with a light brown bench swing and a blood red front door. A large front window faced the street in what looked like the living room area, although it was too dark to tell for sure.

Rain was beginning to fall again as Clarke prepared to brave the weather.

 _This’ll be interesting,_ Clarke thought as she stepped out of the car. She walked around to her trunk to grab the table when she heard someone approaching.

“Hello, Clarke,” Lexa said with a slight smile. She was holding a large umbrella, dressed in tall rain boots, a thermal raincoat and tight jeans.

“Lexa- hi,” Clarke replied, a little caught off guard.

She nodded towards the table. “Can I help you with that?”

“Oh no, I think I got it,” Clarke said as she pulled out the table and shut her trunk. “But thanks.”

Lexa said nothing but stood closer to Clarke as she shielded her from the rain as they walked toward the house in silence.

_How chivalrous._

Once under the awning, Lexa closed her umbrella, shook off the water and opened the door for Clarke to step inside.

The door opened up to a short but spacious hallway with a bench to the right, complete with hooks for coats and cubbies for shoes.

Clarke set the folded table down between her legs so she could shed her layers.

“Here, I can take that,” Lexa said, bending down to grab the table from Clarke. “Feel free to hang your coat on one of the hooks and you can just set your shoes under the bench.”

“Thanks,” Clarke replied as Lexa headed down the hallway and around the corner.

Clarke hung up her jacket and placed her shoes neatly under the bench, then followed Lexa down the hallway.

“Woah,” she whispered as she entered the living room.

The hallway opened up into a spacious floor plan with hardwood floors and Persian rugs covering the living room floor. The house was bigger inside than the exterior lead on. Tall ceilings allowed for massive bookshelves to line the far wall of the living room, the kind with sliding ladders that allowed a curious reader to scour the shelves at any height they pleased. Two brown leather chairs were placed against the front window with a rustic lamp between them.

The living room opened up into the kitchen as well with a large concrete island in the middle. As dark as the place was on the exterior, the house had many windows facing a forest in the backyard. Natural light streaming in from the cloudy skies made the home seem perfectly quaint, cozy even. A black spiral staircase stood midway between the kitchen and living room, leading up to an open loft area above.

Whatever Clarke had been expecting, this was not it.

Lexa had finished setting up the table in the middle of the living room and stood silently, watching Clarke take in the surroundings.

“Can I get you anything to drink?”

Clarke’s attention snapped back to reality.

“Water would be great actually.”

“Coming right up,” Lexa said as she walked towards the fridge.

Clarke took off her shoulder bag and began pulling out everything she would need; essential oils, lotion and massage oil.

 _Just roll with it Clarke_.

Lexa walked back over to Clarke and handed her a water bottle.

“Thank you for meeting me at my house. I feel more at ease in my own home. Helps me relax.”

“Not a problem,” Clarke said before taking a drink. “It’s a beautiful place. Very cozy, I could see why you’d prefer it here.”

Lexa chuckled softly.

“Thank you. My sister Anya tells me I’m too much of a hermit, but…” Lexa shrugged.

“Is this the same sister that made you late to your appointment Monday?” Clarke teased.

Lexa grinned her stunning grin. “Yep, that would be the one. She’s a handful.”

Clarke smiled. She enjoyed talking to Lexa.

“I wouldn’t know, I don’t have any other siblings.”

“Oh? That’s a shame. They’re a pain in the ass sometimes, but worth it,” Lexa said as she fidgeted with the tight sheet on the table.

Clarke watched as her fingers plucked at the fabric.

 _Get out of there you dunce, let the woman have some privacy_.

She cleared her throat. “Um, could I use your restroom? I’ll give you a few minutes to get situated.”

“Yes. If you walk down that hallway there, it’s the first door on the right.”

Before Clarke could turn around, the front door closed, followed by the sound of heavy footsteps.

“Honey I’m home!” another woman’s voice yelled dramatically down the hallway. A tall, beautiful woman with wild hair appeared in the living room, clad in dark jeans, Doc Martens and a black motorcycle jacket.

“Speaking of pain in the ass,” Lexa mumbled.

“Woah Lex, didn’t mean to intrude on whatever the hell” she waved her hands at the table setup, “this is.”

Lexa gave her a reproachful look before splitting an amused grin. “Clarke this is Anya my sister, Anya meet Clarke, my massage therapist.”

“Oh, well look at you miss fancy,” said Anya with a shit eating grin. “I guess you’re not getting any action anyhow, might as well pay someone to work out the kinks,” she said with a wink.

“ _Anya_ ,” Lexa warned as the tips of her ears grew red. Clarke’s stomach fluttered.

“So you’re the sister that made her late to my Monday appointment?” Clarke interjected.

“Guilty as charged,” Anya replied, halfway raising her hand as if a teacher was calling roll. She walked to the kitchen and opened the fridge. “Gotta love vintage bikes. They’re beautiful to look at but not always reliable in adverse conditions.”

“Do you need something?” Lexa asked visibly annoyed.

“Nope, just stopped by to check in on my baby sis as all,” Anya said in a patronizing tone. “You know, since you’ve been a little moody lately.”

“I think I’ll head to the restroom and let you get situated,” Clarke said as she turned and followed Lexa’s direction down the hall, doing her best to avoid any tension between the siblings.

Several minutes later she stepped back into the hallway to the sound of soft jazz music and low voices coming from the living room.

“You should go for it Lex, she’s a cutie,” Anya said. “And you need to get back out there.”

"Since when did you become my relationship therapist? I'm fine on my own Anya."

"Since you started becoming a social hermit for the past year. If you're so fine, why not put yourself back out there huh? Maybe try some real sex for a change instead of doing it yourself."

Before Lexa could respond and before Clarke could stop her own feet, she rounded the corner. Lexa's expression morphed from frustration and anger into embarrassment at the sight of Clarke. Awkward silence lingered in the room like a humid blanket.

“Well, I’ll leave two to it then,” Anya said after a beat with a grin as she grabbed her keys from the counter.

“Clarke, it was nice to meet you,” she said as she walked out of sight down the hallway.

“You too!” Clarke called as the front door shut.

“Well she’s a character,” Clarke said with a smile.

“Yeah, that’s one way to put it,” Lexa mumbled, her face still red as she situated herself, lying face down on the table.

“I put on some music, I hope you don’t mind,” Lexa said after a few moments of silence.

“Not at all, I love jazz music,” Clarke said turning towards the corner the music played from. A record player. Of course.

“I find it relaxing,” Lexa said as she exhaled a deep breath.

Clarke noticed Lexa decided to keep her sports bra on again.

 _Again with the modesty,_ Clarke thought but didn’t mention it.

 

“So, are we working shoulders again today?” she asked.

“Yes please, only shoulders,” Lexa said quietly.

_She must carry some serious stress in those shoulders._

 

“I can do that,” Clarke replied as she began to work on the base of her neck.

Lexa groaned softly at the pressure.

“That hurt?”

“No, you’re fine. I told you, you’re not going to hurt me.”

“Is that your way of saying you like it rough?” Clarke quipped with a smile.

_Shit._

 

There was a pause.

 

_What the fuck Clarke, that was totally inappropriate!_

 

Regret gripped her stomach.

Finally, Lexa chuckled on the table. “Maybe,” she paused. “But mostly I like it painfully slow,” she replied in a hushed, almost sensual tone, drawing out her words.

_Oh fuck._

 

Desire quickly replaced regret, settling into the pit of her stomach. Just the thought of teasing Lexa made her face flush. It made her thankful for once that the two weren’t actually facing each other in that moment.

“Clarke?” Lexa asked quizzically after a pregnant pause.

 _Get your shit together Griffin!_ thought Clarke as she realized she had stopped massaging after Lexa’s comment.

“S-sorry,” Clarke began working Lexa’s neck again and tried to focus on the task at hand. “Space cadet over here today.”

She took a deep breath to calm her restless mind. Privately, Lexa smiled.

Ten minutes later, Lexa went limp and fell asleep.

                                                        ***

Clarke grabbed some Eucalyptus oil from her things and rubbed them on her palms.

 _This should help wake her up_. She walked around the head of the table and held her hands palm up where Lexa’s head lay facing downward.

A few moments later, Lexa stirred. “How long have I been out for?” Lexa mumbled as she peeked her head up from the table.

“About 45 minutes.” Clarke grabbed a hand towel she had brought and wiped down her hands and elbows.

“Wow,” Lexa sat up on the table rubbing her eyes. “Twice in a row, your hands must be magic,” she said with a gravelly voice.

 _That’s what she said,_ Clarke thought with a smirk.

“I’ll give you some privacy, I need to go wash my hands,” she said turning towards the restroom down the hallway.

“Oh, you could just use the kitchen sink,” Lexa said as she pointed towards the kitchen.

“That’ll work,” Clarke said as she walked in that direction. It was getting dark outside but rain still continued to fall as it hit the glass windows facing the backyard in a continuous rhythm. The rain always soothed Clarke.

Moments later, the fridge opened behind her, making her jump.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” Lexa said as she grabbed a water bottle. “Would you like one too?” Still in her spandex shorts and sports bra, Lexa hadn’t bothered to put her clothes back on yet.

“I’m ok, I still have my water from earlier, thank you,” Clarke said, trying not to look at the woman’s stunning figure. Lexa shut the fridge and stood next to Clarke, facing the windows into the backyard. They stood in silence for a moment while Clarke dried her hands.

“Thank you again for making the trip out here,” Lexa said quietly beside her.

“Not a problem,” Clarke said, turning to face her.

“You guys are the only clinic that does house calls. I greatly appreciate it,” Lexa said earnestly, turning to face Clarke.

Clarke smiled and looked away, declining to comment.

“Your clinic doesn’t actually offer house calls, do they?” Lexa said slowly after a beat of silence.

“Um,” Clarke was a little caught off guard. She tried to think of a good excuse, but instead, she just laughed slightly embarrassed. “No, actually the clinic doesn’t offer house calls. I’m here on my own accord, my boss doesn’t know,” Clarke said sheepishly.

Lexa studied Clarke’s expression for a moment before taking a sip of water.

“Don’t worry,” Lexa said candidly. “I won’t tell a soul,” she said with a wink that made Clarke weak at the knees.

Lexa turned and walked toward a drawer in the kitchen, pulling out a checkbook. She silently scribbled a number while Clarke stripped the table and packed up her things. A few minutes later, Lexa walked back over to Clarke and handed her a folded check.

“This should cover it, but if not, please let me know,” she said looking at Clarke directly.

Clarke didn’t need to check the amount; she had already begun to trust the woman.

“Thank you,” Clarke smiled, adjusting the bag on her shoulder.

 

“It’s coming down pretty hard out there. You sure you’re okay driving in this weather?”

 

Clarke smiled at the woman, flattered by her concern. “Oh yeah, I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about me.”

 

They walked down the hallway together where Clarke’s coat and shoes remained. As she sat down on the bench to slip her shoes back on, Lexa reached for her own parka.

“Going for a walk?” Clarke teased, eyeballing Lexa’s scantily clad body under the long parka that reached her knees. Lexa chuckled as she slipped on her rain boots.

“No, but I’ll walk you to your car,” she said as she leaned towards Clarke. Clarke froze, hyper-aware of how close the woman was.

Lexa came within inches of her face as she reached around Clarke and grabbed the umbrella from the bin. Clarke tried to focus on her breathing.

“Oh- you don’t have to do that, it’s freezing outside.”

“Don’t be silly,” Lexa said opening the door. “It’s still raining and you’ve got your hands full. It’s the least I can do.”

 _Ok, very chivalrous_.

Lexa stood close to Clarke as they walked silently to her car, listening to raindrops beat a steady rhythm on the umbrella. Clarke opened her trunk and set the table inside.

“Hey Clarke?” Lexa asked, her breath visible in the cool air by the light coming from the front porch. “Are you available Friday?”

“This Friday?”

Lexa nodded. “I understand this is very last minute, so I completely understand-“ Lexa began before Clarke cut her off.

“No, no Friday is fine. I don’t have any plans.”

Lexa smiled almost coyly. “Same time?”

“Same time,” Clarke smiled, taking in the woman before her one last time.

“Now get inside before you catch a cold,” Clarke chided with a smile.

“Have a good evening Clarke,” Lexa said with a nod before turning back towards the house.

“You too!” Clarke called as she stepped into her car. She shut the door and exhaled a deep breath.

Images of the past hour began to flood Clarke’s mind at high speeds. The feeling she felt in the pit of her stomach when Lexa alluded to what she liked in bed. The image of her tattoo peeking out from behind her sports bra. The way she smelled as she leaned in close to Clarke to grab her umbrella.

“Fuck,” Clarke whispered to herself as she let out a deep breath. It felt like she hadn’t breathed properly within the past hour.

 

_You got it bad Griffin. Snap out of it._

She sat in silence a minute before plugging in her address and heading home.

 _What an odd week,_ she thought as she drove out of the neighborhood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Told ya'll it would be a slow burn.
> 
> Thoughts? Holler at me on Tumblr @ pittythepineapple


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa gets flustered, Clarke gets confused. Get ready for more gay pining!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait guys. In this chapter, we learn a little more about Lexa's backstory. Hope you enjoy it!

“So, you’re going to ditch our pre-game ritual to hang out with your new sugar mama tomorrow?” Octavia teased.

It was Thursday evening and they were discussing their Friday night plans. Octavia, Clarke’s old college roommate, was in town for the weekend and decided to come in a night early. It had been ages since Raven, Octavia, Bellamy, Clarke and Lincoln had partied together.

“She’s not my sugar mama, she’s a client,” Clarke said as she rolled her eyes. Raven smirked from across the room.

“Yeah, a client that paid you $300 for a single massage yesterday,” Raven said.

“Shit, $300 for a one hour massage? I chose the wrong profession,” Octavia said as she sipped her beer. “I ain’t even mad about it now. Go get that money girl!”

“You guys are ridiculous,” Clarke said as she plopped down on the couch beside Octavia. “I’ll be back before 7 and we’ll still have plenty of time to pre-game.”

“Oh Clarke,” Octavia said as she placed her head in Clarke’s lap, looking up at her as she cupped her cheek. “You know we have no qualms starting without you.”

The three chuckled in unison. “Yeah, I guess you assholes never did wait to get the party started,” Clarke quipped.

Octavia pulled herself into a sitting position in Clarke’s lap as she loosely wrapped her arms around her friend.

“And you were never really the party type,” Octavia said.

“No, I was too busy making sure your drunk ass didn’t get roofied- or worse,” Clarke remarked in fake exasperation, only half joking.

“You were an excellent watchdog,” Octavia replied before planting a kiss on Clarke’s cheek. “And now I have Lincoln to do that for me!” Clarke smiled.

“Get a room!” Raven yelled from across the room in her recliner as she flipped through Netflix.

Clarke and Octavia rolled their eyes in unison.

 

“I still can’t believe you guys are getting married. It’s crazy how time flies,” Clarke said as she reached for Octavia’s hand to examine her ring.

A beautiful diamond ring sparkled on Octavia’s finger.

“It really is. I’m really excited for all of us to spend time together this weekend,” Octavia said as she got up to grab another beer.

“Me too,” Clarke said as she snuggled deeper into the couch. The week was shaping up to end on an excellent note.

 

***

Friday morning came and went, and by Friday afternoon, Clarke was already daydreaming of her evening ahead. She thought about her friends and how excited she was to spend time with them.

She also thought of Lexa, even though she tried her best to put her out of her mind. By lunch, Clarke checked her phone. Her stomach dropped as she found a text message from Lexa that was sent only 2 minutes prior.

_Hey Clarke, I’m sorry but I have to cancel our session tonight. My apologies._

Disappointment filled Clarke as she stared at her screen. Even though she had only known Lexa within a two-hour span of time, for some reason she couldn’t shake the feeling. Even worse, it bothered her how curt the message was.

 _That’s it? No explanation?_ Clarke thought bitterly. She wasn’t sure why the sudden change in plans made her so upset. It wasn’t as if they were dating, Lexa was a client after all.

Her phone dinged again and she looked down at her phone. It was another message from Lexa, this time with a photo attached.

She immediately opened the message to find a picture of Lexa’s legs submerged in a large ice bath.

Another message quickly followed.

_I may or may not have pulled a muscle playing rugby last night. It’s still pretty painful. Can I fill you in Monday?_

Relief flooded Clarke like a nice hot bath. Concern for Lexa quickly replaced disappointment as she typed out a reply.

_Oh no! I hope it isn’t too serious. We can definitely reschedule for Monday. Make sure to keep icing it throughout the weekend and try to compress the injury using an elastic bandage or tape. Also, make sure you keep taking IBUProfen or other anti-inflammatories to help with the swelling._

A moment later Lexa replied.

_Will do Dr. :)_

_Enjoy your weekend and I’ll see you Monday._

Clarke smiled as she reread the text messages. Even though she looked forward to her weekend, Monday felt like it couldn’t come soon enough.

                                                                    ***

The weekend came and Clarke sincerely enjoyed her time with old friends. They drank and danced their hearts out through all the local bars, ate slices of street pizza at 3 a.m. and slept through most of Saturday only to do it all over again.

Sunday came and Clarke regretted having to say goodbye, but she looked forward to seeing them again at their annual Friendsgiving in a month’s time. She hugged Octavia and waved goodbye as she dropped her and Lincoln off at the airport and headed home to continue a lazy Sunday.

Monday passed slowly, the workday feeling like it would never end. But oddly enough, Clarke didn’t consider the extra hour at Lexa’s to be work. She increasingly looked forward to it.

Clarke arrived at Lexa’s ten minutes early. The sun was shining again and Clarke took the weather as a good sign for the week to come. She stepped out of the car to gather her table and walked to the front door. She knocked and waited for an answer.

“Come in!” she heard a faint voice call from inside.

Clarke stepped inside and slipped off her shoes in the hallway. It took her eyes a moment to adjust, as Lexa’s usually bright house was now dark as a cave. Soft jazz music filled the air as she walked into the living room.

The shades were drawn and she saw Lexa under lamplight, reclining across the leather couch and propped up by multiple pillows. A large blanket covered her from the waist down and she wore an old faded hunter green sweatshirt.

Upon Clarke entering the room, Lexa closed the book she had been reading and set it in her lap. Her hair was wild like the first day Clarke met her, and she wore glasses, a new look Clarke hadn’t seen before.

“Hey, I’m sorry I didn’t answer the door,” Lexa said as she removed the blanket to reveal a large ice pack between her legs. “It’s still pretty painful to walk.”

“Oh no, don’t worry about it,” Clarke said as she made her way into the middle of the living room and set up her things. “How are you feeling?”

Lexa sat up slowly as she kicked off the rest of the blanket. “Eh, I’ve been better.” She gently removed the ice pack to get a better look. “But I’ve also been worse, so I guess I’m even.”

Even standing from the middle of the room, Clarke noticed the large purple bruise that covered the inside of Lexa’s left inner thigh.

“Holy hell,” Clarke said as she stepped closer to get a better look. “That looks awful. Did you visit a doctor?” She sat her knees on the floor beside Lexa on the couch.

The bruise was easily as wide as a grapefruit and smeared halfway down her thigh. Black spandex shorts covered part of the bruise that traveled further up to more intimate areas.

Lexa winced in pain as she slid her legs over the front of the couch to stand. “Yes… They told me I pulled my groin.”

Without skipping a beat Clarke replied, “I didn’t think you meant it literally when you said you liked it _painfully_ slow,” she said with a sinful grin.

Clarke wasn’t sure what suddenly came over her, but she felt confident in the words she was saying and somehow, she felt confident that her words wouldn’t offend.

Now it was Lexa’s turn to blush. The woman, clearly taken aback, averted her eyes and grinned sheepishly, searching for words.

Before Lexa could reply, Clarke stood up and reached towards the woman.

“I’m just giving you shit. Here, let me help you,” Clarke said quickly as she grabbed Lexa by the waist and helped her to the table. Lexa now leaning against the table, Clarke got a better look at her. Her eyes traveled from her wild hair to the large bruise, taking in every inch of the beautiful woman in front of her.

“That must’ve really hurt. But you did the right thing by canceling Friday. I can work on it today now that it’s had a few days to heal, but I need to warn you, it’ll be a little painful.”

Lexa sighed a tired sigh. Clarke had never seen her look more fragile.

“Like I said, I’ve been worse,” Lexa said as she pulled herself onto the table. “I can handle it,” she said with a pained smile.

Clarke’s heart ached for the woman in front of her. Every instinct in her body told her to embrace her, to hold her, to take care of her. But she fought the instinct, and instead cleared her throat as she walked toward the bathroom in the hallway.

“I’ll give you a few minutes to get situated. Holler if you need anything.”

Clarke waited in the restroom and reemerged a few minutes later to find Lexa lying flat on the table like normal. Except this time, she noticed Lexa elected to forgo the sports bra, allowing Clark full view of her back.

 _So that’s what the rest of your tattoo looks like,_ Clarke thought as she rubbed her hands together with oil.

The tattoo was long, stretching from near the base of her neck to her mid back, traveling along her spine. It was hard to make out exactly what it was, but it appeared to be some sort of celestial imagery. As she got a closer look, she noticed a large scar traveling down Lexa’s spine about 7 inches long near her mid to upper back, not noticeable before due to the sports bra, and hardly noticeable now under the black ink of the tattoo. The puffy scar tissue stood out amongst the otherwise smooth skin along the woman’s spine.

Without thinking, Clarke lightly traced the scar, sending an involuntary shiver down Lexa’s body.

“What happened here?” Clarke asked softly, barely above a whisper.

 

Lexa didn’t respond for a moment, and after a beat, Clarke began to think she didn’t hear her ask the question.

“Car wreck,” Lexa said just as softly, a hint of melancholy behind her words. Jazz music continued to play quietly in the background, filling in the silence between them.

Clarke didn’t want to pressure the woman into telling her story, but something about Lexa’s tone made Clarke think the woman on the table before her suffered through much more than a few scars. Before she could utter a response, Lexa continued.

“A little over a year ago, I was in a pretty bad car wreck that shattered a few discs in my upper back. I had to get surgery, and shortly after I got the tattoo to cover up the scar,” Lexa said stiffly, like a lump had formed in the back of her throat.

Clarke was at a loss for words, and somehow she knew any verbal expression of sympathy would fall on deaf ears. Instead of replying, she simply squeezed Lexa’s shoulder gently, caressing her with her thumb in an attempt to impart any kind of comfort toward her. Lexa drew in a deep breath and let out a heavy sigh.

“Is that why you normally keep a sports bra on? To cover the scar?”

“That… and to avoid conversation about it.”

“Shit, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to-“ Clarke started before Lexa interjected.

“No, you’re fine. It was bound to come up at some point,” she said, but did not elaborate any further.

Clarke continued her work in silence, pushing hard to work out the knots in Lexa’s shoulders. As Clarke worked down her body, she noticed Lexa tense up as she reached her lower back.

“That hurt?”

“Just a little tense is all,” she replied under strained breath.

“You know it’s ok if it does. I can go softer,” Clarke said gently.

Lexa gave a half-hearted chuckle under the table. “You could, but that would be entirely against my M.O.”

“I won’t tell anyone. You may find that you might like it soft and slow,” she said coquettishly.

“Oh Clarke,” Lexa sighed a deep sigh. “You wicked temptress,” she said wistfully.  

Clarke feigned fake surprise. “Me? A temptress? I reject that statement.”

“Is that so?” Lexa retorted.

“Yes. Now hush and let me take care of you. You’ve got a lot of knots.”

“So I’ve been told,” Lexa replied, trying her best to relax.

Clarke was gentler with Lexa’s lower back as she worked in circles near her lower back dimples. What Clarke wouldn’t give to lean down and place a gentle kiss between them.

 

_Inappropriate Clarke!_

 

Lexa tried her best not to squirm with the new feeling of pressure she wasn’t used to.

“I’m going to move towards your legs now, is that ok?” Clarke asked softly.

“Yes,” Lexa mumbled quietly.

As Clarke moved towards Lexa’s legs, she adjusted the sheet to expose her right leg first, tucking the sheet as far up as possible near her more intimate area. Lexa slightly flinched, but otherwise didn’t say anything.

Clarke started at the bottom, bending her leg at the knee so she could massage her foot. Her toes weren’t painted, but they were neatly kept and smooth.

Lexa let out a gentle sigh. “I can’t remember the last time I had a foot massage.”

Clarke continued in broad strokes with her thumbs, starting from her feet and kneading out her calf and hamstring muscles.

 

“Well, that’s a shame. But lucky for you, I give excellent foot massages.”

 

_Fuck, try and be a little more obvious?_

 

“And I am putty under the spell of your magic hands,” Lexa replied almost raspily.

 

The flutter in Clarke’s stomach returned with a warmth that quickly spread throughout her body.

 

_Baby, we haven’t even scratched the surface of what I’d love to do to you with these hands._

 

Clarke let out a breath she didn’t know she had been holding, her body a little heated from the exchange.

She continued massaging her calf muscles and worked her way up to the woman’s hamstrings, gently but firmly kneading the thick muscle. Clarke noticed Lexa’s nails dig into the table as she moved further up her thigh. Her body tensed slightly even though she wasn’t working on her injured leg yet.

“Does that hurt?”

“No, I- you’re fine,” Lexa let out a deep sigh like she had been holding her breath, but her body only slightly relaxed.

“Ok. I’m going to move to your left leg now, but I promise I’ll be gentle.”

She moved to the left leg and began slowly working out her muscles, being careful not to further injure her torn muscle.

“Alright Lexa, now I’m going to have you turn over on your back now and I’ll hold this sheet up until you get situated,” Clarke said softly, trying her best to sound professional.

She lifted the sheet and waited until Lexa was comfortably situated on her back, then she tucked the sheet below her shoulders, covering her naked body. Lexa closed her eyes as she began massaging her arms and hands.

Eventually, Clarke moved back down to her legs and once again adjusted the sheet to expose her right leg, tucking the sheet under her upper thigh. She paused to rub more oil in her palm and then resumed the gentle kneading.

As she moved further up Lexa’s thigh, she noticed her tense up again, her hands firmly gripping the sides of the table. Her body twitched and her breath became hitched as the slightest moan escaped her lips.

Clarke paused as the sound of Lexa made Clarke shiver in places too intimate to admit. Lexa’s eyes shot wide open as she sat up on the table, clutching the sheet to her chest.

“Clarke… I think I’m going to have to ask you to leave,” Lexa said lowly, not meeting Clarke’s eyes. Her face looked flushed and the tips of her ears turned a slight pink.

“Wait- are you sure? I haven’t even finished-“ Clarke protested before Lexa cut her off.

“Yes… I’m sorry,” she said before moving off the table, the sheet wrapped around her like a towel in the shower.

“Oh… Ok,” Clarke said confused as she began packing her things. Lexa stood by her bookcase, facing away from Clarke.

Once Clarke’s things were packed, she turned to leave before pausing.

“Was… was it something I did or something I said? I never meant to make you uncomfortable, I-“ Clarke began.

“No Clarke,” Lexa replied before turning to face the woman, her eyes heavy with an unreadable expression in the dim light of the living room. “It’s not you.”

Clarke stood perplexed as she took in the melancholy beauty of the woman before her.

“Your check is on the table,” she muttered as she halfheartedly pointed to the side table next to the couch. Without another word she then turned and walked out of the room.

Dumbstruck, Clarke eyed the check as dread and guilt filled the pit of her stomach as she stood alone in Lexa’s living room. In a fleeting moment of spite, she left the check where it lay as she collected her things and left.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Well I’ll be, if it isn’t Clarke, the hot massage therapist,” said a voice, snapping her out of her trance.
> 
> “Anya?” Clarke said her eyes adjusting to the woman in front of her. Even after only briefly meeting once over two months ago, the Amazonian woman left a lasting impression. “You work here?”
> 
> or
> 
> The one in which Clarke and company go to a bar and run into Anya after two months of not seeing Lexa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look ya'll, I'm sorry. I hate it when fanfic writers take forever to update, and here I am, slow as Christmas. The truth is, teaching has left me utterly exhausted most days. And even when I do have time to write, I've consistently second-guessed myself. I have a great eye for the bigger picture, but not so much for the minute details. I hope to be better at getting these chapters out quicker in the future. In the meantime, please stroke my ego and leave comments, because I promise, it really does help and I really do appreciate it.

Clarke arrived home in a daze, barely registering Raven lying on the couch with a pale, slightly pained expression. 

 

“Clarke? You alright?”

 

“Yeah, it’s- it’s nothing,” she said as she shook her head, setting her table against the wall on the far side of the living room. 

 

Unsatisfied with her answer, Raven propped herself onto her elbows and eyed Clarke suspiciously. 

 

“Don’t bullshit a bullshitter Clarke. You had an appointment with that client tonight, right? What happened? Trouble with your sugar mama?” 

 

“I… I don’t know what happened. One minute everything was fine, then… then all the sudden she asked me to leave, right in the middle of the session,” Clarke said as she shoved her hands in her pockets, standing awkwardly next to the couch facing Raven. 

 

Noting Clarke’s almost guilty expression, Raven pressed. 

 

“Is there something you’re not telling me?”

 

Clarke shrugged sheepishly but otherwise stayed put. 

 

“Sit,” Raven ordered as she pointed to the other end of the couch. 

 

Like a scorned child, Clarke reluctantly plopped down on the opposite end facing Raven.

 

“So she just asked you to leave, completely out of the blue?” Raven inquired, quirking an eyebrow.

 

“Well, yes,” Clarke said slowly, drawing out the word. “But… I don’t know, I feel like I might’ve made her uncomfortable.”

 

“What do you mean ‘uncomfortable?’” Raven prodded.

 

“Well… I don’t know, the last two sessions, there’s been a  _ tiny _ bit of flirty banter, but today was different. She has always worn a sports bra and spandex during our sessions, but today was the first time she stripped everything off and… I don’t know, maybe I joked flirtatiously and that made her more uncomfortable than normal because she was more vulnerable? I don’t know. But it seemed like she was flirting back, so I don’t understand.” 

 

“What happened to keeping it professional?”

 

“I know, I know, it’s just…” Clarke trailed off, picking at the skin on her thumb, a nervous habit she’s had since childhood. 

 

“You just couldn’t keep it in your pants,” Raven tisked, wincing slightly as she propped herself into a sitting position. 

 

“Jesus Ray, I’m so sorry, I’ve been so in my head I didn’t even notice you were in pain. Is your leg hurting again?”

 

“It’s always hurting. But I’m fine Clarke,” Raven let out a deep exhale as she settled her back against the armrest of the couch. “I’m fine. No need to worry.” 

 

“Don’t bullshit a bullshitter Reyes. Let me see your leg.”

 

Clarke moved closer to Raven, gently picking up her left leg and placing it in her lap. She removed the sock at the the amputation site to see angry red skin, swollen and bruised around fresh scar tissue. 

 

“Fucking hell Raven,” Clarke said softly, gently placing her hands on the irritated skin. “Have you been on it all day?”

 

“I had to,” Raven said through gritted teeth, a light sheen of sweat on her forehead. “We had a revolving door of customers at the shop today, I couldn’t just sit on my ass.”

 

“No, but you could have taken a few brakes. It’s only been six months since the accident Ray, you can’t push yourself this hard, otherwise you’ll burn out. You’ve got to be more careful.” 

 

“I don’t know how to slow down Clarke!” Raven snapped, her eyes going glassy before she looked away. 

 

“Hey,” Clarke said softly, gently rubbing her leg. “I can’t imagine how hard these past nine months have been for you. But you’re not alone, ok? I’m making good money right now, so if you need to cut back on your hours in order to take care of yourself, I want you to do that, ok? Because you can’t keep going this hard Rey.”

 

Raven sighed deeply, tilting her head up slightly to keep the tears from falling. She closed her eyes.

 

“And I love you for that Clarke, I do. But you know me, I’ve always been on my own. I’ve always had to take care of myself. Now that I can’t get around like I used to, I feel downright useless. I don’t  _ feel _ like myself anymore. I don’t know what to do.”

 

“I know. I know how independent you are and I know you have trouble accepting help from other people sometimes. But I love you, I’m here, and I  _ want  _ to help. You’re only doing yourself a disservice in the long run if you keep at it like this. You have to take care of yourself Ray.”

 

Raven sniffled and nodded slightly while still avoiding eye contact. 

 

“I’m going to go grab some lotion so I can massage your leg while we watch a movie, ok?” Clarke said softly as she stood, placing a gentle kiss at the top of Raven’s head. 

 

“Thanks Clarke,” Raven whispered as she left the room. 

 

***

 

Two months passed with no word from Lexa. The thought of texting her came to mind a thousand times, but Clarke couldn’t bring herself to do it. The truth was, Clarke did feel guilty. She knew she had made flirtatious comments, and even though Lexa had said the abruption wasn’t her fault, she couldn’t help but feel responsible.

She couldn’t explain why Lexa occupied so many of her thoughts. Of course she was beautiful, but that wasn’t it. The woman as an enigma to Clarke, leaving her undisciplined mind to fill in the blanks. She was captivating: every movement, every gesture. Everything about her enthralled Clarke’s imagination.

But as the days turned into weeks and the weeks turned into months, Clarke finally began to accept she needed to move on. 

It was Friday night and Raven had been dying for a night out for some time. Though Clarke wasn’t really in the drinking mood, she knew a night of fun could do her good. Raven, Clarke and their two friends Wills and Bellamy piled into an Uber to take them to a new bar that had just opened up across town.

_ The Crowbar  _ had a swanky vibe that was so distinctly Portland. The theme was reminiscent of a steampunk saloon- not Clarke’s usual scene, but a cool atmosphere nonetheless.

“Hey, I’ll grab the first round,” Clarke said as she headed towards the bar, squeezing past the crowd. Seeing the mass of men all vying for the bartender’s attention, Clarke was quite content to wait her turn.

Clarke had had a lot on her mind lately, and she’d be lying if it weren’t partially due to Lexa. OK, mostly due to Lexa. She looked around the room until her eyes landed on a large yellow neon sign behind the bar with a black crow perched on a crowbar.

“Well I’ll be, if it isn’t Clarke, the hot massage therapist,” said a voice, snapping her out of her trance.

“Anya?” Clarke said her eyes adjusting to the woman in front of her. Even after only briefly meeting once over two months ago, the Amazonian woman left a lasting impression. “You work here?”

“Hey!” A man yelled a few feet away. “Where’s my drink?!”

“It’s about to be up your ass if you don’t shut your damn mouth!” Anya snapped at the man before turning back to Clarke with a pleasant smirk. The man’s face contorted into a scowl as he averted eye contact.

“You don’t take any shit do you?” Clarke chuckled, surprisingly happy to see the woman she’d only met once before.

“Fuck no, and that’s why they hired me,” Anya smiled back. “So, you here to see Lex?”

Just the mention of her name gave Clarke goose bumps and a swooping feeling in the pit of her stomach. 

“I- no, I’m here with friends actually. Is she here?” Clarke looked around the bar area for the woman.

“Yep, I dragged her ass out of the house to come to opening night, but of course she’s being a Debbie-downer about it,” Anya replied as she gestured to the back dimly-lit corner of the bar.

Lexa sat in solitude as she fidgeted, peeling the label off her beer. It was clear the bar was not her scene.

“You should introduce her to your friends!” Anya said as she poured another customer’s drink. “I’d keep her company, but I won’t get off for another two hours.”

“Oh I don’t know, we haven’t spoken since-“ Clarke began before Anya cut her off.

“Please Clarke? For me? I know I give her a lot of shit, but she’s been so antisocial lately, I’m starting to worry about her.”

Clarke turned back to look at the beautiful woman and all the feelings Clarke had tried suppressing over the past two months came rushing back to the surface.

She turned back and nodded at Anya.

“Ok, I’ll ask her to join us.”

“Awesome! Thanks so much Clarke!”

As Clarke turned to head back to her table, Anya grabbed her hand.

“Hey, did you order a drink?”

Clarke was so blindsided by the sudden reappearance of Lexa that she had forgotten the beers.

“Oh shit, yeah I was supposed to get beers for the table,” Clarke replied.

“How many?” Anya asked as she grabbed a set of mugs.

“Four of whatever you suggest,” Clarke said distractedly. Her eyes kept glancing back at the melancholy beauty in the corner.

Anya set down a tray of five mugs as Clarke reached for her wallet.

“This round's on the house sweet cheeks,” Anya winked.

“That’s really generous, thank you Anya,” Clarke replied as she grabbed the tray.

“No worries, thanks for babysitting Debbie downer!” Anya called as she turned back to attend to other customers.

Clarke walked back to her table in a daze, doing her best to avoid the crowded room and spilling the mugs.

“There she is!” Bellamy smiled as Clarke reached the table.

“Where’ve you been Clarke? We started to think you got snatched!” Raven replied as she helped Clarke distribute the beers.

Clarke sat down next to Raven silently. Raven noticed her mood changed and leaned in to whisper.

“Clarke, are you alright? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“I kinda just did,” Clarke said grabbing her beer and taking a sip. “You remember that client that I did the house call a while back for?”

“You mean the sugar mama you had a crush on? Of course I remember,” Raven said as she leaned back in her seat, waiting for Clarke to tell her story.

“Well I didn’t know this, but apparently her sister works as the bartender here and when I went up to order drinks, she recognized me and asked if I was here to see her,” Clarke said as she took another sip. “She asked me if I would invite Lexa to meet you guys because she’s been a little down lately and her sister has been worried about her.”

“So she’s here?” Raven asked, a hint of excitement in her eyes as she looked around the room. 

“Yeah, she’s alone in the back corner of the bar,” Clarke said as she looked in that general direction, unable to see anything through the crowd of people.

“Well what the hell are you waiting for,” Raven said as she grabbed the extra mug full of beer. “Go get her.”

“You think it’s a good idea?” Clarke asked as she took the mug.

“Yes, now go!” Raven said as she shooed Clarke away. Clarke took another large gulp of her own beer before she made her way through the crowd.

As she neared the back corner her eyes landed on Lexa, sitting in the same spot with a visibly annoyed expression as a drunk guy regaled her with whatever pickup lines his hazy mind could come up with.

It wasn’t until Clarke reached the table that Lexa noticed her presence as she sat up a little straighter. 

“I really hope you’re not trying to hit on my girlfriend,” Clarke said lowly as she leaned on the table, staring the man dead in the face. Both Lexa and the man’s eyes widened, completely taken aback.

“Woah, you two are lesbians?” the drunk man asked excitedly.

“Yep, and a very jealous one at that, so if you could kindly leave us alone, we’d appreciate it,” Clarke said as she took the seat across from Lexa, staring down the man until he got the hint.

“Damn, that sucks!” he said as he sloshed some beer on the floor. “You two are friggin’ beautiful,” he slurred.

“Yeah, and we’re not interested in a third party, so…” she made a shooing motion with one hand as the man got the hint.

“Dykes,” he mumbled under his breath as he turned to walk away.

Any other night Clarke might’ve kicked the man’s homophobic ass right in front of everyone, but she didn’t want to get her whole party thrown out, so she kept her cool.

Clarke exhaled a deep breath she didn’t know she’d been holding in, then turned back to Lexa whose expression was still a mix of shock and… relief?

Without saying a word, they absorbed each other’s presence in silence.

Clarke never thought she’d see her again, and if this were to be the last time, she wanted to commit every feature of the woman before her to memory. Clarke savored her green eyes, her full lips, the cluster of faint freckles near her nose and her wild hair she’d missed so dearly. She wore a simple black T-shirt under a faded denim Sherpa-lined jacket and maroon trousers. 

 

_ God, she’s a lesbian’s wet dream.  _

After a moment of silence, Lexa cleared her throat. Clarke tried to school her features as best she could, bracing for impact. For all she knew, Lexa could very well tell her to fuck off. 

“Girlfriend huh?” Lexa asked with a slight smirk, her eyes peeking beneath thick lashes.  

_ I fucking wish _ .

Rather than answer, Clarke slid the extra mug of beer over to Lexa.

“Don’t you know it’s poor taste to have a bottled beer at a bar when you can have one on draft?” Clarke said smoothly with feigned confidence.

After a beat Lexa replied. “Do you always interject yourself in other people’s conversations so candidly?” she deadpanned as she took a sip of her new beer.

“Only on occasion,” Clarke replied as she took another sip. “I’m a sucker for damsels in distress,” she said with a smirk.

“Who said I was in distress?” Lexa asked with a raised brow. They held each other’s gaze for a moment before both broke out in a chuckle.

“Yeah, that guy was a real tool,” Lexa mumbled.

“Yeah, well it didn’t take a detective to tell that,” Clarke said as she took a sip, breaking eye contact and looking around the bar.

Lexa kept her eyes on Clarke.

“Clarke, I…” Clarke turned back to look at Lexa, who then diverted her eyes to look at the table.

It dawned on Clarke that the past two months of silence may have weighed heavy on Lexa’s mind too. Rather than let the woman suffer while she choke out some sort of explanation, she changed the subject.

“Yeah, yeah you’re welcome, don’t mention it,” Clarke said as she stood up, noticing a brief flash of panic across Lexa’s face as if Clarke was about to turn and sprint away.

 

Lexa’s hand twitched as if she were about to reach out and grab Clarke’s wrist before the blonde spoke. 

“I’m actually here with a few friends. Would you like to join us?” Clarke said as she motioned to the other side of the room. “That is, if you’re comfortable ditching your boyfriend over there,” she teased with a smirk as she nodded at the drunk guy, glaring at them from across the bar.

A smile began to creep upon the woman’s face.

“Oh, so he’s my boyfriend now?” Lexa said lowly, leaning in as she stood up, meeting Clarke at eye level.

“Hey, I don’t know what you’re into,” Clarke shrugged as she took another sip of beer, a hint of a smile gracing her features. 

“Women. For the record,” Lexa said matter-of-factly, staring Clarke in the eyes.

_ Fuck me  _ Clarke thought as the smile drained from her face as realization hit her.

With that, Lexa smirked and clinked glasses with Clarke’s.

“Lead the way,” Lexa replied with a smile that nearly knocked Clarke breathless.

As Clarke turned to lead them to the table, Lexa grabbed her hand, making her shiver. Her hand was considerably warmer than Clarke’s, creating an all new type of warmth throughout her body. 

 

_ Shit, it’s happening  _ Clarke thought as they squeezed their way through the crowd. As the bodies grew denser, they held tighter to each other.

“Hey guys, this is my friend Lexa,” Clarke said as they approached the table. Raven noticed as their hands separated as she smiled knowingly. “Lexa, this is Raven, Bellamy and his boyfriend Wills.”

“Nice to meet you,” Lexa smiled back as Clarke grabbed her another seat.

  
  


***

Clarke’s friend group welcomed her warmly as they sat and talked for hours until almost every patron in the bar had left. Well, the rest had talked. Lexa seemed content watching everyone else and only pitching in every now and again. She wasn’t cold or aloof, but rather attentive and curious, opting to observe rather than participate. Her eyes were glued to Clarke every time she spoke. 

“Final call,” Anya said as she approached the table. “You guys want anything else before I begin to close up shop?”

“Anya, come meet my friends. Guys this is Anya, the bartender, who also happens to be Lexa’s sister. She also paid for our first round,” Clarke said as she introduced the tall woman to her small group of friends. 

“I love a woman who knows her way around a bar,” Raven smiled as she stuck out her hand. “Hi, I’m Raven.”

 

“Do you also like women who ride motorcycles? Because I know my way around those too,” Anya said with a devilish smile, bending down to place a single kiss on Raven’s knuckles, all while holding eye contact. Lexa rolled her eyes.

 

“I… I guess that depends on what kind,” Raven said, taking back her hand slowly as she swallowed another sip of beer. “We talking crotch rockets or cruisers?”

 

“Neither. Vintage bike, an ‘85 Triumph Bonneville, cafe racer style,” Anya said as she pulled up a chair, straddling the back as her arms perched on top. Raven looked like she wanted to devour Anya on the spot. 

 

Bellamy cleared his throat. “We were actually just thinking about heading to another bar. Would you guys like to join us?”

 

“Oh we wouldn’t want to impose-” Lexa starts. “I’m game!” Anya replied, standing up from the chair and spinning it on one leg before pushing it back in at the table behind her. “Just let me wipe down the bar one last time and I’ll meet you guys out front.”

 

“Actually guys, I think I’m gonna call a cab home. I don’t really feel like tying one on tonight,” Clarke said as she stood, trying to ignore the burning stare from Lexa out of the corner of her eye. 

 

“Aww, Clarkey. Well get home safe and make sure you keep the door unlocked. You know I’m notorious for misplacing my keys after I’ve had a few too many drinks,” Raven smiled as she hugged Clarke and kissed her cheek as Clarke bid her goodbyes to the rest of the group before finally turning to Lexa.

 

“It was nice to see you again. Take care,” she smiled before heading out into the cool night air.

 

Not even ten seconds after the door had swung shut, the door opened again. Clarke knew who it was without looking up from her phone. 

 

“Clarke! Wait,” Lexa jogged up to where she stood on the corner waiting to call an Uber. “Did… did you drive here?” Lexa asked a bit quieter, her eyes glancing down at the Uber app pulled up on Clarke’s phone. 

 

“No, I called an Uber,” Clarke mumbled, still avoiding eye contact. She couldn’t explain why, but a small part of her wanted Lexa to work for it. 

 

“Well, I could drive you home if you’d like,” Lexa offered with hopeful eyes as blue ones finally met hers. 

 

“You don’t have to do that Lexa,” Clarke said slowly, gauging the woman’s reaction before her. 

 

“Please? No reason you should call a cab when I have a perfectly good car,” she smiled softly as she pulled out a set of keys and twirled them around her finger. 

 

_ Oh what the hell.  _

 

“Yeah, okay. Thanks,” Clarke nodded as Lexa smiled, leading them back to her car. 

 

They walked in silence as the cool air whipped around them, causing Clarke to shiver. Finally arriving at one of the only cars left in the lot, Lexa inserted the key and opened the passenger side door for Clarke to a forest green vintage Ford Bronco. 

 

_ To match her eyes. _

 

“Watch your step,” Lexa whispered charmingly as she offered her hand for Clarke to take as she hopped in the cab. 

 

_ Fuck she’s adorable.  _

 

Upon closing the door, Lexa jogged around the front and opened the driver’s side door and slid into the cab. The car was immaculate, with leather seats and the soft crackle of the original stereo playing Billie Holiday on a low volume. 

 

“Seems like you and your sister have a thing for vintage vehicles,” Clarke said.

 

“Yeah, well she’s got a thing for motorcycles, I’ve got a thing for classic cars,” she shrugged, adjusting her mirror. “What’s your address?”

 

They drove along in relative silence for a while, aside from the music and the soft patter of rain beginning to fall outside. The neon from the stop lights reflected like Christmas lights through the water droplets on the windows as they pulled to a stop. 

 

“You… you left your check,” Lexa said quietly as her hand fidgeted with the stick shift between them, picking at a loose thread on the leather handle.

 

_ Shit, here we go.  _

 

Several different quips flew through Clarke’s mind. But rather than let her mouth ramble away an explanation, she opted for a more defensive approach. 

 

“I did.” 

 

Lexa shifted in uncomfortable silence for a moment, not sure how to reply. 

 

“I’m sorry for the way I reacted,” she said slowly. “I don’t want you to think you did anything wrong, I just… I don’t know what to say.”

 

The car slowly pulled in the parking lot in front of Clarke’s apartment as Lexa cut off the engine, leaving both women to sit as rain continued to pour down around them. 

 

“You don’t have to say anything Lexa,” Clarke said evenly. “You don’t owe me an explanation. You were my client, now-”

 

“I don’t like how we left things,” Lexa blurted, fully turning to Clarke now. “How  _ I  _ left things. I like you, Clarke.”

 

Her eyes shone brightly as the streetlamp lit her light eyes, giving them an almost glowing effect.

 

“I like you, Clarke. And forgive me if I’m being too forward, maybe I’m misreading things, but I think you like me too,” she breathed quietly, her voice only slightly shaking as she held Clarke’s stare. “But things have happened in my past that still haunt me, and I don’t know if I will ever be at a place to give us a genuine shot. All I know is I like you, and even though I’ve only spent less than a handful of hours with you, this last month not seeing you or speaking to you has been incredibly difficult.” 

 

The brutal honesty of the other woman stunned Clarke into silence. Before the previous month she had an inkling that the other woman just might like her back, yet there was never any solid evidence. But hearing it first hand felt like someone had just set her repressed desires on simmer, no longer able to keep them on the back burner. 

 

“Wow. Um… It’s been difficult for me too actually. Surprisingly difficult,” Clarke said quietly, fearing if she spoke any louder the spell between them might break. “I felt so guilty after I left your house last, like I made you uncomfortable with something I said and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since.”

 

“You shouldn’t feel guilty Clarke, I…” Lexa sighed, buying time to gather her words. “Like I said, I like you, and you weren’t the only one flirting.”

 

“I wasn’t?”

 

Lexa shook her head, finally dismissing Clarke’s fears she had been ruminating on for the past month.  

 

“The truth is, I haven’t felt this way towards someone in a really long time. If I may be so bold, I want you in my life, Clarke, if you’ll have me. But for right now, a friendship is all I can give you.”

 

The genuine vulnerability behind light her light eyes warmed Clarke to her core. She wanted nothing more in that moment than to reach across the divide and hold Lexa to her chest and sooth her worries as she ran her fingers through wild curls. But now was not the time. And if friendship was all Lexa could offer for now, Clarke would gladly take it. 

 

“I can do friendship,” Clarke smiled, fighting her original instinct and, instead, reaching across to place a warm hand over Lexa’s that sat on the stick shift between them. 

 

Lexa’s eyes darted to the hands between them, finally releasing a heavy sigh she didn’t know she was keeping as the tension visibly bled from her body. 

 

“Good, that’s... good,” Lexa nodded. The cab fell into silence once more as rain poured around them, Clarke daring to sweep comforting strokes with her thumb on the backside of Lexa’s hand. The radio crackled as it continued to hum a nostalgic melody.

 

_ I’ll dare not guess _

_ At this strange happiness _

_ But, oh _

 

_ How am I to know _

_ Can it be that love  _

_ Has come to stay here?  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? Feelings? Come yell at me on Tumblr @pittythepineapple

**Author's Note:**

> Thoughts? Holler at me on Tumblr @ pittythepineapple


End file.
